The Seeds of Self-Care

Stress is your body’s response to changes in your life. Because life involves constant change (ranging from changing locations from home to work each morning to adapting to major life changes like marriage, divorce, or death of a loved one), there is no avoiding stress. This is why our goal isn’t to eliminate all stress, but to eliminate unnecessary stress, and effectively manage the rest. When we have a large number of stressful events in our lives (good or bad), we can become overwhelmed – and these feelings can create problems. Mental health is highly correlated to chronic stress. Numerous studies link chronic stress to anxiety, depression, insomnia, and fatigue. Chronic stress can cause memory loss and can change the brain's structure and functioning, affecting a person's susceptibility to depression and the effects of aging. Long-term stress is also highly correlated with the development and progression of many chronic physical diseases, such as heart disease, arthritis, ulcers, asthma and migraine. In addition, stress may also influence health indirectly through health behaviours such as smoking, drug use, and excessive eating and alcohol related behaviours. People who neglect their own needs and forget to nurture themselves are at danger of deeper levels of unhappiness, low self-esteem and feelings of resentment. Also, sometimes people who spend their time only taking care of others can be at risk for getting burned out on all the giving, which makes it more difficult to care for others or themselves. Taking time to care for yourself regularly can make you a better caretaker for others. Daniel Silver, social worker and educator for Family Mental Health Support Network of Niagara, outlines the positive thinking needed to support self-care. In addition, he identifies a variety of self-care practices that are suitable for anyone to incorporate into their life. In this video presentation, Dan provides viewers with practical strategies to help relieve stress and shows how to move away from the negative thinking that causes it. He suggests that distress centre call responders need to be attentive to their personal well-being, and his suggestions apply equally to our callers and call responders who work on the distress lines. Questions for Further Consideration: 1. Caregiving seems to bring with it such a range of emotions, from joy to resentment. How is this possible? And what can be done about it? Callers who are in caregiving roles often describe feeling a range of emotions. Some feelings are more comfortable than others. When those emotions are intense, they might mean the following: That you need to make a change in your caregiving situation. That you are grieving a loss. That you are experiencing increased stress. That you need to be assertive and ask for what you need. It is a strength to recognize when your emotions are controlling you (instead of you controlling your emotions). Our emotions are messages to which we need to listen. They exist for a reason. However negative or painful, our feelings are useful tools for understanding what is happening to us. Even feelings such as guilt, anger and resentment contain important messages. Learn from them, then take the appropriate action. Negative thinking is a very common behaviour that ultimately affects how someone feels. What might call responders hear from someone that is an indication of negative thinking? There are 4 common routes of negative thinking: All-or-Nothing Thinking. "I have to do things perfectly, because anything less than perfect is a failure." Disqualifying the Positives. "Life feels like one disappointment after another." Negative Self-Labeling. "I feel like a failure. I'm flawed. If people knew the real me, they wouldn't like me." Catastrophizing. "If something is going to happen, it'll probably be the worst case scenario." 3. Is there any way of tackling negative thinking so it doesn’t take over a person’s life? How can call responders help someone that they don’t know, deal with negative thinking? The Step Thought Record and Change process is one strategy for dealing with negative thinking. It involves: Identifying what needs to change (e.g. ‘I am a failure, I can’t do anything right’.) Letting it go (e.g. ‘I am hard on myself. I don’t always succeed, but I sometimes do.) Learning healthier coping skills and thinking (e.g.’ a mistake is not a failure, I am successful in many ways’.) Incorporating these changes into your life (e.g. ‘the next time I make a mistake, I won't dwell on the negatives. Instead I will focus on what I can learn from my mistake. I will remind myself of my past successes’.) Glossary: Self-Care: includes any intentional actions to take care of your physical, mental and emotional health. Journaling: A personal record of occurrences, experiences and reflections kept on a regular basis; a diary you keep of daily events or of your thoughts Mindfulness: the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something; a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations; used as a therapeutic technique. Structured Activity: a planned, organized activity or plan of action that is clearly defined, often with a specific or definite outline Cognitive Behaviour Thinking: aims for a person to have control over their thoughts, feelings and behaviours; helps the person to challenge and overcome automatic beliefs, and use practical strategies to change or modify their behaviour. The result is more positive feelings which, in turn, lead to more positive thoughts and behaviours. Power of Attorney: A Power of Attorney is a legal document that gives someone else the power to act on your behalf. This person is called your "attorney". In Canada, the word "attorney" usually does not mean lawyer, as it does in the USA. You can give someone a Power of Attorney for Personal Care if you want them to make personal care decisions on your behalf if you become mentally incapable of making them yourself. This is sometimes called a "personal power of attorney".